7 Ways To Ask For (And Get) What You Want
Have you ever met someone who can get almost anyone to say yes?
Some people seem to have a gift for getting what they want, but looking more closely, it is actually a skill that can be learned. The power of persuasion is something just about anyone can learn to master with practice and the right tools.
It’s 2022, the year to stop selling yourself short, and take what is offered. Even if the idea of “going for it” scares you half to death, we have a few ways you can build your confidence, assertiveness, and start getting those yesses.
Don’t opt out before you are in
It is a people pleasing tendency to ask, but not really ask by giving an option out before the ask is even completed. If you have the bad habit of giving people an easy way out, practice your patience, by asking and then being quiet. If you give people too many reasons to say no and without giving them time to say yes, you are defeated before you begin.
Boost your confidence first
Being confident in your ask is essential to being persuasive, but not everyone builds confidence in the same ways. You can practice your request role-play style with a friend or mentor. You could talk through the pros and cons with an unbiased person. Or simply writing down your reasons for what you want and why you deserve it, can be a useful tool for perspective.
Keep your reasons simple
Piling on many many reasons for your case can be just as problematic as giving people an option out. By focusing on a core reason for your request you are more likely to prove a solid case versus confusing the conversation with many moving parts.
Assess your timing
Keep in mind the timing of your request and the resources available to fill it. If you are making an ask of someone who is already at max capacity and at the current moment feeling stressed, it better serves you to wait until a time when stressors aren’t in play. However, waiting too long, or continuing to put off making an ask could be a result of your own feelings of inadequacy and desired avoidance versus the availability of resources.
Make it about them
Consider the reasons your request could benefit the person you are asking. People are more likely to say yes when they connect an ask to their own personal values and needs. Even if you are in a place where you are unhappy and need a remedy, being considerate of the person’s feelings will help you get a resolution that benefits everyone.
Be clear about your ask
All communication benefits from clarity, particularly making a request. When your expectations are clear and concise you can expect a more thoughtful reply and confidence in the exchange.
Give options
This is not the same as giving an option out, but instead giving alternative options. When you have a result in mind, but there are many ways to get that result, it can be helpful to give alternatives to choose. Give options on the “how”, not the “what”.
