7 Stages Of Leaving Your Job
Here’s how to complete a smooth career transition.
With the amount of time we spend at work, it makes sense that leaving a job is an emotional transition. Not only do we develop relationships with those who we work with, but often our identity is tied to our employment whether we like it or not.
There is a comfort in the known, even when that experience is uncomfortable.
Having worked with hundreds of women who were going through this transition (meaning: their work was changing, whether they wanted it to or not) I have come to understand there are 7 stages of leaving a job.
Whether you are moving from one job to another, or from a job to your own business, or the other way around, you will go through these stages.
These seven stages of leaving your job do not necessarily happen in the order listed below, and sometimes stages are shorter than others, but it is impossible to skip a step, even when we try our hardest.
Decision
The time of deciding sometimes happens earlier than you think. This step is not the same as putting in your notice or the unpleasant experience of being let go. Deciding to change your employment is your commitment to yourself that you will be moving on. You can decide you are moving on without having a plan and you can decide to move on long after you are no longer employed. The decision is the commitment required before action can take place.
Action: Write down your decision on a dated piece of paper.
Build Confidence
This stage is unavoidable, but often overlooked. To make a transition like changing jobs, you are taking a risk. Risk means facing unknowns and we as humans are hardwired to avoid unknowns. Knowing how you build confidence makes this stage that much easier. Are you a researcher and collector of facts? Are you more intuitive and need to feel things out? Feeling confident about your new opportunity AND feeling confident about your ability to be successful in the new environment help you complete this stage.
Action: Ask a colleague to share with you what you do well. This helps you focus on your strengths from an outside perspective.
Grieve the loss
This is the stage most people want to skip. Feeling sad is a thing we avoid, but you cannot move on without taking time to grieve. Even if you are excited by your new opportunity there is still a moment of pause needed to acknowledge your old self will be changing. This doesn’t mean you must be melted into a puddle, but that is ok, too. You may be leaving coworkers and friends that you care about, or feeling disappointed about the things you did not achieve in your last role. All of these feelings are normal and can happen even before you move on to a new role.
Action: Take time off in between if you can. Having space to decompress before starting something new will give you space to emotionally transition.
Find Opportunities
If you are lucky to have your next role come to you, congratulations you made this happen with ‘little effort’. Do not, however, discount the fact that you did, in fact, make this happen. Whether you have worked to develop a skill set that is in demand, invested time in building a business on the side, or built out a network of people who support you, you created an opportunity for yourself without realizing you were doing that.
If you are seeking new opportunities through a job search or other means, this can be an energy draining stage of this process. Remember, this is only a stage and seek out support as you move through this process.
Action: Make extra time for self care while you search.
Explore Opportunities
Everyone makes decisions differently, but it is helpful to know how you prefer to evaluate alternatives. Do you need to talk things through, make a list of pros and cons, meditate while burning incense, or make a spreadsheet and input the data methodically? No matter how you prefer to decide, you want to make sure there is exploration. Some people have the tendency to take what is offered and ask questions later, which is how you end up right back where you started.
Action: Decide on your decision making strategy and bring on support when needed.
Make a Move
And then we jump. No matter how much thought and time goes in the stages above, “the jump” is often the least celebrated step, but also one that is exceptionally critical. In the first few weeks into a new endeavor is the time where you set your new standard. This is an opportunity to leave old bad habits behind and work on new ways to support your success in your new role.
Action: Take time to celebrate your successful transition (even if it doesn’t feel like a success right at the start).
