3 Things To Do When You Are Feeling "Behind"
Follow these tips when you’re feeling like you are falling behind.
Thanks to social media and the quick access to a wide range of information online, it's easy to notice the picture perfect life of others and compare it with yours. You can see a reel of a friend on vacation somewhere you've always wanted to go for years but haven't been able to or a colleague celebrating major life achievements and in the midst of the genuine happiness you have for them comes the question "When will it be my turn?” Such comparison can be a trigger for anxiety and depression as it begins to affect your feelings of self worth and your mental health.
In a professional setting though, it can be quite different. Comparison can serve as a guide to measure individual performance in relation to that of the overall group to pinpoint where one is doing well and where one is slacking.
A while back I was feeling unfulfilled at my job because in comparison with my colleagues I felt I was not quite there yet, not capable and that I wasn't good enough so I began doubting myself. My self esteem was so ridiculously low that I knew after a deep reflection that the only way for me to go from there is up! I realized I was focusing on the negatives and ignoring my achievements, so I began to think about things I'm good at and wrote a list of my strengths.
I also began to celebrate the small things in my life and give myself a treat when I do something I'm proud of. I turned my focus away from looking outside for validation and began to work more on what I had to do on the inside.
I believe comparison is a normal trait that shows us the reality of where we are now, where we want to be and the necessary steps we have to take to get there. Here is my list of the top things to do when you feel behind:
Don't be intimidated by the achievements of others.
We are all on different paths on our journey, remember how far you've come and as long as you keep putting in the work by improving on your skills your time will come. It's not unusual for you to come across exaggerated achievements also, so try not to place unnecessary pressure on yourself. Take things one step at a time.
Keep positive vibes by practicing gratitude.
You are already on the path and your fear that you don't measure up shows you're living your life. It's normal to encounter situations like this along the way. The height you think is the peak of your career might be just another stepping stone to what you'll do next. Put your energy into bringing yourself closer to where you want to be. Be proud of yourself and thank yourself for wanting to be better
Understand that you're in the best state for development.
The feeling of being left behind is a good thing and can be your cue that it's time to do something different. It can also motivate you to be more intentional and move in the direction of your dreams.
To know if your concern about falling behind is valid and not as a result of unhealthy thought patterns, ask yourself these questions:
Does my concern align with my future goals?
Am I afraid to start, lazy, or do I lack motivation to get things done?
Am I properly measuring my success?
Am I giving myself time to achieve my goals?
Why do I want to do this? Is it just to please others?
People might look perfect but no one has all the answers. We are all confidently learning along the way and you're welcome to do the same. The fact that you are willing to change your actions to achieve your goals shows there is more for you to achieve and opens a wide range of possibilities.
Take the time to understand what your values are and whether or not you’re working in alignment with them. This is an important part of becoming self aware. This exercise will teach you how to stop your emotions from driving your behavior and it helps you understand your weaknesses, respond positively to constructive criticism, and take the necessary steps to self development.
